TheLeadershipNotebook

Time To Play Offense?

 

“We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives.

We must take charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance

and truly begin to live our dreams.”

~Les Brown

 

“No.  I’m not going play that way. I want to win.”

 

My tennis team member was firm. She was not going to practice our doubles drill as designed.

 

Hearing this resistance, our tennis coach calmly explained that the drill was supposed to help us think and play more offensively, to be the first to come to the net, taking balls out of the air and putting them away. In the long run, we’d learn a new skill that would definitely give us a better chance to win.

 

My tennis colleague would have none of it. She wanted to play back, preferring to hit from the baseline with a strong, consistent ground stroke.

 

Our coach said “Fine. We’ll see who wins.”  

 

Over the next hour, rotating partners, we played the drill, keeping track of the points and how they were won.

 

You guessed it. Our stubborn team member lost each point when she stayed back, preferring to play it “her” way.

 

I smiled when I thought of how this same stubbornness plays out in the world of work. How often do we resist change, preferring to do things the way we’ve always done? How often do we let short term “win’s” get in the way of learning new skills that would actually benefit us in the long run?

 

What would be possible if we began to play offense?

To your success,

 

Mary

Finishing Strong: Seven Key Behaviors of a Leader Who Gets Results

 

“All endeavor calls for the ability to tramp the last mile,

shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.

The fight to the finish spirit is the one characteristic we must possess

if we are to face the future as finishers.”

~Henry David Thoreau

 

My CPA friends and clients have gone “radio silent” for the last month. They are firmly entrenched in their “busy season” and looking forward to that magical April 15 deadline. SIX MORE WEEKS.

I remember those days vividly, digging down deep in the cold winter months to finish my engagement responsibilities, lead my team to finish strong and make sure our clients were happy and well served.

Whether you’re a CPA in busy season or a corporate leader charged with delivering results, leading projects to successful completion is one of the hallmarks of an effective leader. Zenger and Folkman in their book, The Extraordinary Leader, identified 7 key behaviors in a leader who gets results.

Do these describe you?

High performers:

1. Do everything possible to meet goals and deadlines and pursue the project until completion
2. Maintain high standards of performance
3. Set measurable standards of excellence for themselves and others in their work group
4. Promote a spirit of continuous improvement
5. Take personal responsibility for outcomes
6. Can be counted on to follow through
7. Go above and beyond what needs to be done without being told

 

Or do you find yourself…

1. Missing project goals, deadlines and agreed upon deliverables
2. Failing to build high commitment among the team to stated goals and objectives
3. Blaming others for failures
4. Not following through to your project’s completion

 

Successfully driving for results goes hand in hand with possessing excellent interpersonal skills. The two are a powerful combination that is essential to inspiring and motivating your team and collaborating to make a difference for your clients.

 

With six more weeks to go and lots to get done, take a moment to step back and assess your current state.

• What steps are needed now to finish on time with a satisfied set of clients and an inspired and motivated team?
• What obstacles do you face in achieving your goals? How can you effectively overcome them?
• What would your team say about what it needs to come together and finish strong?

 

Six more weeks and counting. I’d love to hear from you and learn how you plan to go the distance.

To your success,

Mary

 

 

When Peer Pressure is a Good Thing

 

"Pressure makes diamonds."

~General George S. Patton

 

The rain was coming down sideways, in virtual sheets. My husband and I looked at each other and I asked: “Are we really going to ride our bikes in this?” “Oh I doubt it,” he assured me.  It was Day 1, Hour 1 of our 5 day biking tour through the hills of the Loire Valley in France.

 

We were novice bikers but our friends and fellow riders assured us that we would be “just fine.” Yes, we had done some training but not on hills (we live in farm country) and NEVER in the rain. No, it just never occurred to us that it could be, or would be, raining cats and dogs!

 

Our tour leader-guides, Anna and Stephanie, never stopped their cheery disposition and reminded us that the French countryside was beautiful, there would be wine and/or croissants along the way and “we’d be so proud of ourselves” when we completed the tough ride. They must have taken a play out of the EQ play book that says the leader’s emotions are contagious. They refused to show any hesitation or doubt that our journey in the rain would be worth it.

 

As we watched in disbelief, each of our fellow riders mounted their bikes. Darn.

 

But Marty and I had our pride. We refused to be the only two people to ride in the van to our next stop. No, we would go. We climbed on our bikes and started to ride. With the rain coming down, we road all of our 20 miles, up and down hills and valleys, through small country towns and roads lined with vineyards. All in the non-stop driving rain.

 

And I hate to admit it, it was a memorable day. We were proud of ourselves for completing the ride. We enjoyed the scenery and spent the day riding with some new friends. In this case, peer pressure worked.  Pushing us to achieve more than we ever imagined. We rode for two more days in the rain and peer pressure again encouraged us to complete a ride of 50 miles on Day 4.

 

I know I’m describing a circumstance that pales in significance to many of the challenges that we face. Succumbing to peer-pressure is not cool. But think back on a time when your peers encouraged you to do or accomplish something outside of your comfort zone. To solve a problem, to stay the course when you wanted to give up. Sometimes, a little peer pressure can make all the difference.

To your success,

 

Mary

Taking the REAL Temperature

 

“Reality doesn’t bite, rather our perception of reality bites.”

~Anthony J. DeAngelo

 

 
 

“My presentation stunk.” My client, Barbara (*not her real name), was absolutely beside herself when she relayed her feelings on the results of her big presentation to the CEO and fellow leadership team members.

 

“Say more,” I responded.

 

“Oh, I was awful, not engaging and lacked the executive presence I’ve been working hard to improve.”

 

“What feedback did you receive from the members who attended?” I asked.

 

“Well, I haven’t had a chance to follow up with any of them, but I guess a few people said “nice job” when the meeting ended.”

 

“So what makes you think you performed so poorly?” I was still looking for some facts to back up her self-criticism.

 

“I just have a feeling.” Barbara replied sheepishly, realizing that her emotions had taken over with no real facts to support her feelings.

 

Our coaching meeting ended with an assignment for Barbara to seek feedback from three members of the leadership team who saw her in action during her presentation. And I’m sure you’ve guessed the results.

 

“Outstanding.”  “Passionate delivery.”  “Excellent presence.” “Knows her stuff.” Those were just a few comments Barbara heard, totally blowing away her perceptions of the results of the meeting. She had spent an incredibly unproductive week stewing over her fear, expecting the worst.

 

Can you relate to Barbara’s experience?

 

The REAL Story

In emotional intelligence vernacular, Barbara’s skill in the area of Reality Testing had taken a dive.

 

The skill of Reality Testing is our ability to accurately assess what we experience versus what objectively exists. It is our capacity to see things as they are, rather than the way we wish they were (think rose colored glasses) or fear they might be (Barbara’s example).

 

This EQ skill is like having a good thermometer, one that accurately takes the temperature of a situation. Reality Testing involves taking steps to see past our emotional hopes, fears, and biases so that we can recognize situations for what they really are.

 

Reality Testing leads to success because it brings with it the capacity to accurately identify and address problems that are really there, and recognize and build on opportunities that are also based in reality.

 

In a group situation, Reality Testing is a complement to self awareness (where you assess your “internal” temperature). Reality testing, on the other hand, allows you to measure accurately the “external temperature” in a given set of circumstances.

 

Great leaders have a clear reading of their environment. No wasting energy, stress and focus over situations that just aren’t real.

 

What You Can Do

If you operate with rose-colored glasses or find yourself reacting like “Debby Downer” (or Barbara) take a step back and do a reality check.

 

Ask yourself whether there have been many situations where it turned out that you misread important information. Everyone will do this from time to time but here your task is to honestly appraise whether this happens to you frequently enough to warrant attention.

 

Next, to test the impression developed from reviewing your own memories, get input from people who know you well and whom you trust. Ask questions like:

 

• Do you think that I wear rose colored glasses about some subjects?   Or
• Do you think that I look at things with too many negative expectations?

 

Barbara’s experience reminded her that before she sets out on a path assuming the worst, she needs to take a step back, accurately assess the data and ask herself if her fear is based in reality or on some irrational emotion.

 

Had she gathered some facts and assessed the information, she would have saved herself a lot of time and angst and actually been pleased with her results.

 

To your success,

 

Mary

Go For It!

 

 

Focused and driven.  This little girl knows where she’s going and how she’s going to get there. (Ok I know, she’s only 5 and “racing” on a Merry-Go-Round) but when I look at this picture, I see a young child who believes that nothing can hold her back.

 

How about you? Are you focused on your purpose and your vision? Do you have a plan for how you’ll reach your goals or aspirations? What is the future that you want to create for yourself? What obstacles might you face on your journey?

 

“Go For It” is Phase One in The Cycle of Renewal developed by Frederic Hudson, an expert in adult development and founder of The Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara. “Go For It” is a time in our lives when we feel “in sync,” excited about building our future, evaluating possibilities and new opportunities.

 

Coaching for clients in the “Go For It” phase focuses on helping them develop their vision, understand and get clear about their purpose and being a sounding board who can stretch and challenge them to achieve their goals.

 

If you’re in this phase and find yourself needing focus, clarity of vision, purpose or plans, a skilled coach can help you target your passion and your energy to achieve your goals.

 

My middle daughter, Lisa, took the picture this summer on a trip with her sisters to France. She’s fully in the “Go For It” phase, just beginning year 1 of her MBA program at UVA.’s Darden School of Business.

 

The Cycle of Renewal is just that, a cycle, and we know if we’re in the “Go For It” phase we won’t be in it forever. Burnout, work life balance issues, other change in circumstances or vision can move us out of “Go For It” and into the next phase. But if you’re there, enjoy it and be certain to make the most of it!

 

To your success,

 

Mary

 

 

 

Learning and Pushing Through the “Performance Dip”

 

“The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies,

can continue growing as long as we live.”

~Mortimer Adler

 

I work with leaders. And each leader I work with is in the midst of his or her unique change and transition. New roles, new organizational challenges or their own performance improvement require a leader to tap into their ability (and willingness) to learn new skills. So learning is an integral piece of each coaching engagement. And with most learning experiences, mastery does not happen overnight or in a smooth, comfortable fashion.

A significant learning experience often includes a predictable, but uncomfortable, “performance dip,”   a risky period in a learning cycle where it simply feels easier and safer to deny or reject the emerging demands of change rather than accept the risks inherent in testing out new and unfamiliar strategies and tactics.

For high achievers, when you’re in the “performance dip,” outside your comfort zone and not yet performing the new skill at peak levels, it’s tough to look and feel less than perfect in front of your bosses, your colleagues or your direct reports. But when you give up on the learning, you leave lost opportunities on the table.

I can relate to this feeling of not wanting to “look bad” trying out a new skill. I love to play tennis and I remember vividly my favorite tennis instructor teaching me how to improve my forehand. “You just have to reposition your grip on the racket,” she said. Sounds so simple, but it was very uncomfortable and initially not so successful. Every time I tried the new grip, my shot went into the net. It was so incredibly frustrating that I wanted to give up. But she kept encouraging me and deep down, I knew she was right. It wasn’t long before I was hitting forehand winners with my new and improved grip. My tennis game was raised to a level far greater than if I had remained in my comfort zone.

 

I know my tennis game does not carry the same stakes as you learning new leadership capabilities. But the example highlights the possibility of what great things can happen when we work through the “performance dip.” Ironically, developing the capacity to be vulnerable, to put your performance at risk while you’re learning new skills, is key not only to learning how to learn, but also learning how to lead. I see it happen all the time and stand ready to help my clients push through the dip.

To be effective in the long term is to be flexible, to be open to new experiences and to new learning. So embrace a learning attitude and work hard at being learners as well as leaders.

What do you think? What are your experiences with learning and working through the “performance dip?” How have you stayed the course and elevated your performance far beyond what you thought possible? I’d love to hear your insights.

To your success,

Mary

Elevating Your Game

 

I’ve always been passionate about sports, especially basketball. So when my daughters were in grades 5 through 8, I had the honor of helping to coach their youth basketball teams. Some of the years our teams resembled the “Bad News Bears,” in others, we made a deep tournament run. My goal was always to have fun, teach and maybe win along the way. Helping the athletes improve their skills, gel as a team and mirror the realities of life’s ups and downs? Priceless.

When my kids got to high school, the “pros” took over. Regardless of the sport, I noted with fascination the coach’s power and influence over the girls’ confidence, desire to perform and team dynamics. When focused on the positive, the kids and the teams responded. When the coach was demoralizing or focused on winning at all cost, the results went in the opposite direction.

Somewhere during those years, I became a member of a fledgling organization called the Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA). I was drawn to its mission to transform the youth sports culture to foster positive, character-building experiences.

For some reason, I've retained my membership. And I was blown away when yesterday I received my annual report. Over the years, the organization has blossomed, with its board members now including the likes of LA Lakers Coach Phil Jackson, the NBA’s Shane Battier, soccer star Julie Foudy, and Hall of Fame QB Steve Young. They have witnessed the power of positive coaching in the youth community and want to continue its spread.

PCA has board members from the business world, too: Chip Heath, author of Switch, Marsha Dweck, author of Mindset and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who wrote Flow. And there’s even a representative from the accounting profession, Mark Edmunds, vice chair of Deloitte, who says in the annual report that “Deloitte wants to help PCA change the world.”

Amazing. The organization with one local office 11 years ago now has nine regional offices across the country. They’ve trained more than 430,000 parents, coaches and youth organization leaders, and have impacted more than 4 million youth.

What’s this got to do with those of us in the business community? PCA has elevated its game over the years by focusing on six different principles:

Effort as a Habit: Teaching the athletes that setbacks are inevitable and you can respond to them with renewed effort. Success comes from effort over time.

Mistakes: You can never be your best if you fear mistakes. If you’re afraid of making mistakes, you will play tentatively. Tentative players usually get beat.

Leadership for Everyone: In high-performing teams, everyone acts to move the team forward. An emotional commitment to your team’s success qualifies you to play a leadership role.

Impact: There are no easy jobs with big impact. If you want a stress-free life, recognize you probably won’t have much impact.

Appreciate: Life goes by quickly, so make time to appreciate the daily joys of life.

These look like leadership lessons to me. Not to mention the fact that these young athletes are our future leaders. What do you think? How can you elevate your game? Has PCA been involved in your community?

To your success,

Mary

 

 

Assess. Predict. Perform.

 

I’m really excited. I just got back from New York City. I attended a launch meeting for the next generation of the emotional intelligence assessment that I use in my executive coaching and consulting practice. The new and improved EQi 2.0 has the same scientific reliability and validity as its predecessor, but has several significant updates that make the instrument an even better predictor of human performance.

Now you know why I’m excited.

Those who know me and the background of my coaching and consulting work with leaders, know that I’m passionate about helping my clients develop their EQ, recruit successful candidates and retain current high performers. I utilize EQ for good reason. Emotional intelligence has proven to be a key indicator of human performance and development potential.

For those who may not be familiar with emotional intelligence, it’s a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we:

• perceive and express ourselves;
• develop and maintain social relationships;
• cope with challenges, and;
• use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way

These skills, like self regard, self awareness, empathy and assertiveness to name a few, are the cornerstone of effective leadership practices. And there’s lots of data supporting this assertion.

When they embarked on enhancements to the assessment, MHS, the developer of the EQi 2.0, obtained feedback from over 700 coaches, consultants, academics and business professionals for the purpose of making an already great assessment, an outstanding assessment. And based on what I learned at the meeting, I’m confident my clients will reap the benefits of these enhancements.

So what’s holding you back? Why not take advantage of this outstanding tool to help you take your performance or the performance of your organization to the next level? I love to quote the words of former GE CEO, Jack Welch:

“No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts,

but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader.

You just can’t ignore it.”

 

To your success,

Mary

 

 

Doing What You're Doing While You're Doing It

Whoa….. It’s March 5^th. Where did January and February go? For me, the first two months of 2010 flew by as I focused on my office move, my coaching clients, facilitation of a 2 day team offsite and training for the Shamrock Shuffle.

 

It has been a busy first two months for sure and I have found myself ramping up my multi-tasking in an attempt to “get more done.” But did I get more done? Was I productive as I split my focus between tasks, each one on their own requiring 100% of my attention?

 

Deep down, I know the answer to this question. No, I was not more productive. In fact, numerous research studies have also answered my question with the same resounding, NO. Check out this study performed by Stanford University researchers. Or maybe you’ll like a study done by the American Psychological Association. Both studies support the fact that multi-tasking in NOT the answer to increased productivity. So what’s the solution?

 

One simple solution is to do what you’re doing while you’re doing it. Imagine yourself being fully focused, engaged and mindful in each of your daily endeavors. Nathaniel Branden, in his excellent book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem shares that living consciously is actually one of the key practices in building and maintaining a healthy self esteem. He describes living consciously as a practice and a mindset; actually an orientation toward life. If we do not live mindfully, Branden says, the inevitable penalty is a diminished sense of self-efficacy and self-respect, both integral to a healthy self esteem.

 

So it’s March 5^th and I have practiced mindfulness as I focused 100% on writing this blog post. No phone calls, no checking emails, no multi-tasking. Just doing what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

 

Give it a try. You’ll be surprised how much more you can accomplish.

 

To your success,

 

Mary