TheLeadershipNotebook

5 Secrets of Olympic Coaches

 

“Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen.

The coaches who win are the ones who can motivate their players.”

~Vince Lombardi

 

For us mere mortals, the 2012 Olympics has certainly been a display of amazing performances. From the “kids” in gymnastics to the swimming and diving feats of the US team, we’ve witnessed outstanding athletes and outstanding teams. But we can’t forget the coaches, some more public than others, providing non-stop encouragement and focus to their athlete.

While I don’t work with Olympic athletes, I do coach leaders who want to take their performance to the next level. And those leaders often must learn to make the transition to become internal coaches themselves, focused on developing their team members and direct reports to achieve outstanding results.

So I read with interest a recent HBR blog post by Marcie Schorr Hirsch and Therese S. Kinal, discussing the results of a study outlining what it takes for coaches to produce Olympic champions.

It’s interesting that the five critical areas cited in the study of Olympic coaches are not dissimilar to what we coaches (both internal and external) must provide to our “coachees.”

The five areas are below with my take on how they might apply to your world.

1.      Help the athlete cultivate self-awareness

You can help your direct reports develop self-awareness by helping them understand their strengths and areas requiring development. How might you build on their strengths to leverage great results? Do you know what really matters to your direct report? How they are best motivated. How are they able to learn and grow in areas that provide meaning and value to them AND to the organization?

2.      Build a strong coach-athlete relationship

Trust, commitment and a sense of partnership are integral to building a solid relationship with your coachee. This requires truly listening to them, without judgment. You must instill in them the confidence and trust that you believe in them and what they are capable of achieving.

 

3.      Create an optimal training environment

A great coach/manager must create an environment that provides the right amount of visibility and sponsorship that can propel a career. Throughout the Olympics, we heard athletes continually share how their coach challenged the athletes to achieve stretch goals. What kind of environment are you creating for your coachees?

 

4.      Provide financial and other support systems

Development of new skills requires an investment of both time and resources. A coach encourages and motivates her coachee to devote the time and effort it takes to practice these skills. A coach also holds her coachee accountable for their following through on responsibilities and stated committments.

 

5.      Manage the Olympic environment

Coach/mangers must challenge their “athlete” to see the bigger picture as they learn new skills. Politics are part of every organization and great coaches help their coachees gain a broader perspective that expands beyond their immediate sphere of influence.

 

I just finished watching the US Women’s Soccer team win the Olympic gold medal against Japan. It was an excellent game and team USA’s performance was outstanding. Coach Pia Sundhage did not receive a gold medal for the victory but knew that her focus was not on achieving fame and glory but on her team’s results. In fact, Sundhage’s quote about coaching Team USA mirrors my feelings about coaching my clients: “I’ve been lucky to coach them….it is unique. It’s wonderful.”

What do you think? How do you coach your employees to deliver outstanding performance? I welcome your perspective and input.

 

To your success,

 

Mary

Carpe Diem

“Carpe Diem! Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.”

~Dead Poet’s Society

 

We’re at The Lake this week. It’s our time during the summer to re-lax, re-charge and re-connect. To shut down from the everyday busyness of our lives and savor the lazy days of summer. The cement Dock that extends out into Lake Erie from our little colony even has the words: Carpe Diem etched boldly for posterity. It’s a great reminder to all of us to stop and “seize the day.”

So when we got the call mid week that a great guy (just 58 years young) that we just met at a wedding two weeks ago had passed away suddenly and very unexpectantly, Carpe Diem took on real meaning. This was on the heels of reading about the sudden death of a fellow Rotarian’s daughter right before we left on vacation.

 

So as you read this post, STOP. Savor the fact that you are alive and here to make a difference, whatever that means for you. Carpe Diem. I know I will.

 

To your success,

Mary

Your "Cool Runnings"

 

“Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing.

But if you’re not enough without one, you’ll never be enough with one.”

 

~Irving Blitzer (played by John Candy) from the movie, COOL RUNNINGS

 

One of my all time favorite movies is Disney’s Cool Runnings. It’s based on a true story about the training and competition of the first Jamaican bobsled team to compete in the winter Olympics in 1988. The movie is hilarious at times, but its overriding themes of perseverance, dedication and overcoming obstacles are woven throughout this inspirational story.

The term “Cool Runnings” actually means “Peace Be The Journey.” The peace comes from knowing that you’ve given your best; finishing strong, even when obstacles get in your way.

This week, and for the last several months leading up, there is much anticipation about the start of the 2012 London Olympic Games. Who will win gold in swimming, track, soccer and tennis? Will Michael Phelps succeed in his quest to be the most decorated Olympian?  

For all the hype about the medal victors in each of these sports, there are scores of other athletes who are determined to compete and give their very best effort. To have their own “cool runnings.” Their effort, determination and perseverance are part of their journey.

Applying this concept closer to home, my daughter Emily, a May graduate of Case Western Reserve Law School, took the Pennsylvania Bar Exam. Since graduation, she has spent all day, every day, in pursuit of her goal. Attacking the prep like an Olympian, she was focused, committed and worked hard hoping to achieve her own gold medal (passing!) in October. When she left home to take the exam, I asked her how she was feeling. “I did everything I could, Mom. I have no regrets. If for some reason, I don’t pass, I know I left it all on the table.”

It was Emily who reminded me about the movie, Cool Runnings.  She watched it again the night before the first day of her exam. She watched it partly for some comic relief and partly to remind herself of her effort, determination and perseverance. In the end, while incredibly difficult, the Bar Exam was part of her own “Cool Runnings.”

As Sanka from the movie said, “I’m feeling very Olympic today, how about you?” How are you making the most of your journey?

To your success,

Mary

Your First and Simplest Emotion

 

“The first and simplest emotion that we discover in the human mind is curiosity.”

~Edmund Burke

 

Remember when you were 6 and you drove your Mom crazy asking questions that began with words like: Why? Who? When? Where? How? and my personal favorite, What? Endless curiosity ruled your world. Until, as one of my coaching clients lamented, your parents or teacher or babysitter cried out in exasperation: No More Questions!

 

Curiosity inadvertently squashed.

 

Another lesson some are taught as kids is that it’s rude to ask questions or worse, that asking questions somehow conveys your ignorance. Curious George always got into trouble for being curious. And we might even have been warned that “Curiosity killed the cat!”

 

For many, curiosity got a bad rap.

 

The truth is that curiosity is one of the most vital and life-affirming qualities you can bring to your work life AND your personal life.

 

Curiosity at Work

It is so easy to blame others (or ourselves) when things go wrong. Consider being curious about your experiences rather than critical. For example, instead of beating yourself up, or blaming someone else, for not reaching your performance goals—again—try asking yourself what is going on for you that keeps your performance below your expectations?

 

You can ask questions like:

• What could have done differently?
• What can I learn from this performance?
• What will be my next step?

 

With an attitude of genuine curiosity in coming to understand the current reality, you are more likely to help yourself find new and more creative solutions to achieving your goals or helping others achieve their goals.

Cultivating a curious mind also improves your ability to think more strategically. Asking questions like:

• What’s possible for my department to achieve in the coming year?
• Where is the next wave of opportunity in my client base?
• What if I looked at our challenges from a different perspective?

 

Questions like these coming from a curious mind, shift your perspective from the here and now to points in the future and help you begin the process of building your strategic roadmap.

 

Curiosity in Life

Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all!” When you foster an attitude of curiosity, doors open and adventures begin; questions lead to new possibilities. For example, asking yourself “What do I want to learn now and where might that lead me?” can set you on a journey of exciting exploration that moves you forward.

If, instead, you come from the place of “I already know what I need to know,” you shut off the possibility of discovering something new that could rock your world.

 

So shake off those old, outdated beliefs you have about being curious. Walt Disney, friend of 6 year olds everywhere, said: “We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

 

If you truly want to expand your excitement, joy and fulfillment in your work and your personal life, keep those Why? Who? When? Where? How? and What? questions coming.

 

What do you think? How has being curious benefitted you in your career or in your personal life?  What have you learned about being curious?

 

To your success,

 

Mary

 

The End of the Command and Control Leader?

 

“In these troubled and uncertain times, we don’t need more command and control;

we need better means to engage everyone’s intelligence

in solving challenges and crises as they arise.”

~Margaret Wheatley

 

Command and control leaders. You love to hate them. These leaders are the “my way or the highway” type where the phrase “Just Do It” takes on quite a different meaning than Nike ever intended. But the reality is that this form of leadership has been the long standing default style for many leaders in our Firms and Corporations.  

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had the “pleasure” to work with more than a couple command and control type leaders in my years as a practicing CPA.  And my experience is consistent with the research on the negative impact of this leadership style:

No Flexibility   -- “My way or else.”

No Clarity   – “I only know what not to do.”

No Responsibility   – “Just doing my job.”

No Commitment   – “I’m just looking out for myself.”

But there is great news coming from a research study of 1,700 CEOs recently completed by IBM. The study reported that these leaders clearly see that the command and control leadership style is outdated and ineffective.

The implications are clear for the CPA profession as well. It’s time for Partners and Managers to move off this outdated and non-productive leadership style and embrace the leadership style that engages, inspires and aligns their professionals to outstanding performance and results. New behaviors can be learned and when CPA leaders see the positive impact on the bottom line, they’ll be more motivated than ever to shift their approach.

A New Era of Openness and Collaboration

The study also revealed what CEOs are looking for in employees, another clue that we’re moving in a direction that’s more open and collaborative. These CEO respondents want to recruit and hire people who excel at working in open, complex, and team-based environments. Highly valued skills are collaboration (75 percent), communication (67 percent), creativity (61 percent) and flexibility (61 percent).

It’s a new day and Firm and Corporate leadership must change with it.

How about you? What is your experience with “Command and Control” leaders? How do you see your leadership style shifting in today’s complex business environment?

To your success,

Mary

Gratitude x10

 

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts

are conscious of our treasures."  

~Thornton Wilder

 

As an American, I’m celebrating the Fourth of July this week. For many, the day is filled with summer barbeques, get-togethers with family and friends, fireworks and (hopefully) a day away from the pressures of work.

 

But in the same spirit as Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July is also a day to be grateful—grateful for the freedom and independence that we so regularly take for granted and grateful for the thousands of men and women who work every day to protect our freedom.

 

Which makes me think….What else do we take for granted? What in the world would give us joy or contentment or energy if we would just notice it? 

 

Yes, we’re thankful for our health and our loved ones. But here are 9 more to reflect on….

 

2. Our senses. Sight, sound, touch, smell and taste—daily miracles each of them. 

 

3. Opportunity. Our steady companion, opportunity is always ready to take us down a path yet unknown. (Hint: We have to say “Yes!”) 

 

4. Beauty. What do your eyes feast on? It is all around us every day. How often do you stop to drink it in?  

 

5. The ability to learn. There is no age limit on learning—period. When we stop learning, we really stop living.   

 

6. Young children. They model for us innocence, faith, resilience, playfulness and unconditional love.

 

7. Music. What inspires you? What lifts your mood? Rock & roll, folk guitar, country, African drumming, violin concertos, gospel? A nightingale? 

 

8. The ability to give. Every act of love benefits the giver as much as the receiver. 

 

9. Color. Sunsets, Gauguin paintings, green peppers, blue eyes. Imagine a world without color…. 

 

10. Change. It’s unavoidable; the only constant. Change can be unsettling or challenging. But the mystery of it and what lies beyond it can keep us young at heart.

 

So the next time you complain about the challenges and busyness of everyday life, stop for a moment and reflect in gratitude on your freedom and the simple gifts we’ve been given.

 

What are you grateful for on this Independence Day?

 

To your success,

 

Mary

5 Effective Strategies to Cure Defensive Communication

 

My coaching client, Barbara (not her real name), has an excuse for everything. Nothing is ever her fault and her colleagues say she is a master of escape, leaving the scene when the conversation gets intense.

Her defensive communication style has been tolerated in the past but now her behavior is holding her back from moving to partnership in her firm. Barbara’s defensiveness has impacted her relationships in the office and has also spilled over to relationships with her clients.

Do you know someone like Barbara? Could YOU be Barbara?

Barbara believes that her defensive communication style protects her. That to be open to feedback, ideas or criticism is to be vulnerable and weak. On the contrary, it is being defensive that weakens us. While you’re busy defending yourself, there’s not much room for meaningful contact with others. Nor can you learn from their feedback or from your own mistakes.

To curb your own defensive reactions, consider some of the following more effective strategies: 

1.   Breathe and Listen• If you feel criticized, rather than reacting or retreating, take a deep breath, tell yourself that it’s only feedback and just listen. You can correct the record later, if necessary.
2. Consider and Accept• Consider if there is a kernel of truth in the feedback.  If there is, acknowledge it and work to improve in that area. Your willingness to acknowledge when you’re wrong inspires colleagues, clients and management to feel confident in you.
3. Consider and Reflect• Realize that sometimes people’s criticisms are all about the “story” they have made up around a situation. Try not to take it personally or as your responsibility.
4. Focus on the message and not the sender • What can you learn from the feedback? If it’s delivered by someone whose personality does not mix with yours, separate the idea from the personality and focus instead on the rest of the message.
5. Ask clarifying questions • Clarifying questions help to keep the listening process active and increase understanding among listeners and speakers. Try some of these questions for gaining time and clarity:

• Can you help me to understand your perspective on this issue?
•  Can you be more specific?Can you give me some examples?
•  Let me tell you what I understand you to be saying. Did I understand you correctly? 
• Say more.  
• Tell me more about that.

 

Changing how we communicate as individuals—learning that we can protect ourselves and have greater influence without using defensiveness—can not only dramatically shift our professional and personal relationships, but can also improve our leadership effectiveness.

“Communication works for those who work at it.”

~John Powell

 

What about you? What strategies have you used to improve your defensive behaviors?

 

To your success,

 

Mary

 

 

 

 

 

How's Your Radar?

 

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through

each other's eye for an instant?”

~Henry David Thoreau 

 

My dog Zoey should have been named “Radar.” She has an uncanny ability to sense what family members are feeling and react to those feelings in kind. Whether we’re watching an exciting basketball game on TV (she goes crazy when we do), or one of us is feeling sad or discouraged (she makes a bee line for our lap), Zoey, completely without judgment, is in tune with our feelings.

 

 

Possessing accurate radar is in a sense what the EQ skill of empathy is all about. And empathy is the fifth and final skill that I’ll discuss as being critical to becoming a “trusted advisor.”

When you have empathy, you are “tuned in” to how others are feeling. You are able to look at a problem or conflict from another person’s perspective. Empathy is also a critical skill for negotiation as well, understanding what the other side wants and working to create a win-win result. (So it’s far from a “touchy-feely” skill.)

Empathy involves understanding another’s perspective, even if theirs’ is much different from your own. (Remember, it’s without judgment.) It involves letting the other person know that you have understood them, thus creating a bond and a relationship that surpasses “box checking” or “order taking.” I requires patience and active listening.

According to David Maister, one of the key hallmarks of a trusted advisor is their “focus on the client rather than themselves.” That is the essence of empathy. To put yourself in the shoes of the client in order to see a challenge from their perspective, understand what they are feeling and why.  

This key EQ skill allows you to forge a strong bond of collaboration that helps you to solve your client’s problems and create successful and lasting client relationships.

Five EQ Skills Critical Trusted Advisor Skills

To recap, over the last several posts I’ve shared five key EQ skills:

1. Pursuit of Meaning: Your goal, desire and motivation to become a trusted advisor.
2. Emotional Self Awareness: You are aware of your emotions and how they impact your behavior and others.
3. Interpersonal Relationships: You have an ability to build and develop mutually satisfying relationships.
4. Problem Solving: You effectively use your emotions in the process of solving a problem by gathering information and making decisions without being emotionally distracted, stuck or overwhelmed in the process.  
5. Empathy: You are “in tune” with how others are feeling, understanding their perspectives and forging a bond that builds outstanding relationships.

 

The good news is that each of these EQ skills can be learned or enhanced. If your goal is to move your role from client server to the next level of trusted advisor, add these five skills to your foundation of technical expertise.  I know it can happen. I’ve witnessed my previously reticent coaching clients successfully make that shift.

What do you think? What are your perspectives on what it takes to be a trusted advisor?

 

To your success,

Mary

 

 

Solving Problems: Trusted Advisor Style

 

“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence

is not the opposite of intelligence,

it is not the triumph of heart over head,

it is the unique intersection of both.”

~David Caruso

 

My last three blog posts discussed your desired movement from technician to becoming a trusted advisor for your clients and the EQ skills you must possess to make that move. The three EQ facets I’ve shared so far are:

1. Pursuit of Meaning: Your goal, desire and motivation is to become a trusted advisor
2. Emotional Self Awareness: Your awareness of your emotions and how they impact your behavior and others
3. Interpersonal Relationships: Your ability to develop mutually satisfying relationships

 

But even if you possess each of these emotional intelligence skills, in order to become a true trusted advisor you must still solve your client’s most challenging problems. And at the leader level, you must regularly solve their problems when the pressure is on, when the stakes are high and all focus is squarely on you. All while keeping your emotions in check.

In the realm of EQ, what does this problem solving skill entail? Problem solving in an EQ sense is not about the quality of your solutions, but rather at how effectively you use your emotions in the process of solving a problem. It’s your ability to gather information and make decisions without being emotionally distracted, stuck or overwhelmed in the process.

 

You can possess all the technical knowledge in the world but if your emotions cause you to be frozen in your decision making, unable to consider various perspectives or  avoid dealing with the problem all together, your technical expertise is of little use to your client.

 

It’s fitting that I’m writing this blog post on the day that one of my former business partners (and trusted advisor extraordinaire) retires from Plante & Moran. My dear friend, Brent Cousino, is one of the most amazing trusted advisors I’ve ever worked with.

 

Brent had many client facing roles at P&M and, regardless of his position, his clients could always count on Brent to solve their most challenging problems calmly and effectively. Pressure, deadlines, budgets and client expectations were a constant in Brent’s consulting role and he managed these challenges brilliantly. His clients knew that he would utilize his technical expertise combined with exceptional problem solving skills to make a difference for them. Especially when the stakes were high.

 

Oh, and he also possesses the first three EQ skills in droves! Brent will certainly take his trusted advisor skills on the next leg of his leadership journey.

 

How would evaluate your problem solving skills when emotions are in play? Can you be relied on to be there for your clients, cool headed, focused and determined?

 

Becoming a trusted advisor truly demands these superior problem solving skills.

 

To your success,

 

Mary

 

Rate Your Client Relationships: Are You a Trusted Advisor?

 

“At its core, trust is about relationships.”

~David Maister

 

In my last two blog posts, I talked about two of the five key EQ skills needed to move from technician to trusted advisor: self actualization and emotional self-awareness.

It won’t come as a shock to you that the third EQ skill is your ability to build mutually satisfying relationships. The key words here are mutually and satisfying.

We’ve all been in client relationships that are one-sided or give us heartburn. Those relationships can never make it to a true trusted advisor status.

What I’m talking about in a trusted advisor relationship is based on a mutual give and take. You must give a favor to earn a favor.  In trusted advisor speak, you must “display your willingness to make an investment in the relationship in order to earn your client’s trust.”

What efforts do you put into maintaining healthy and effective relationships with your clients? Is your talk all technical and single focused? How do you get to know them on a personal level? What matters to them? Do they know what matters to you?  In the end, building a strong relationship requires a certain level of vulnerability and a willingness to open yourself up.

And we all know that a relationship that’s strong and satisfying is one based on thoughtfulness and openness to another’s ideas. The idea of collaboration and connection to others is something that trusted advisors value. And when a conflict arises, both parties work to resolve issues in a manner that is respectful and professional.

There is a misconception that strong trusted advisor relationships can only be built when the advisor is extraverted or gregarious. Quite the contrary. One of the most effective legal advisors I know is quite introverted but has forged strong relationships with his clients in a more reserved, one on one manner. Still strong. Still effective. Still a trusted advisor. He just accomplishes it in a more low-key manner. And his clients love him. He is their “go-to guy.”

How would you rate your client relationships?

If you didn’t choose excellent, what’s holding you back from building deeper, more meaningful relationships with the clients you serve? Regardless of whether you’re an introvert or extravert, you can begin today to build the skills that it takes for forge mutually satisfying relationships with your clients and move yourself to that coveted “trusted advisor” status.

 

To your success,

 

Mary