TheLeadershipNotebook

The Brave New World of “Teaming”

 

“…successful teaming begins with an embrace of the unknown

and a commitment to learning that drives employees to absorb,

and sometimes create, new knowledge while executing.”

 

~Amy C. Edmondson

Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management

Harvard Business School

 

 

What is “teaming”? In her recent HBR article titled, Teamwork On the Fly, Professor Amy Edmondson describes her research and experience with a new form of team, a new way to get work accomplished in our fast paced, global business environment. 

 

Flexible teamwork, or “teaming,” gathers experts from wide ranging divisions and disciplines into temporary groups to tackle projects or problems and accelerate reaction to new opportunities. Imagine a team where:

 

• Multiple functions/disciplines work together
• Relationships are temporary
• People are geographically dispersed
• Each project uses new and evolving individual skill sets
• Work can be uncertain and chaotic

 

Sounds like fun. But building a solid base of soft skills is critical to  successful “teaming.“

 

You may think this type of team arrangement would never apply to your circumstances.…but think again. In recent months, I’ve had several of my coaching clients and one family member participate in this type of team format.

 

A Case in Point

Yesterday, IBM launched PureSystems which IBM describes as  “a new, simpler era of computing.” I’m not a techie but it’s a big deal and as the company shared during its launch event, “it’s the result of $2 billion in R&D and acquisitions over the past four years.”

 

My daughter Sarah, an “IBMer” and a member of the marketing launch team, has lived and breathed the project since she joined the company last year. It was top secret and she could not share what she was working on but I do know that her team could be described with the “teaming” characteristics described above.

 

In another case, one of my coaching clients, a CPA formerly with a Big4 firm and now with General Motors, was tapped to lead a project with team members who span the globe and possess variety of skills and disciplines. He had not previously met any of his team members.

 

You don’t have to work for mega companies like IBM or GM to experience this teaming concept. This type of flexible team work is happening at large and small firms alike.

 

Required Skill Sets

 

Technical skills are expected of course. But to achieve and excel in this new form of team environment, soft skills in emotional intelligence (EQ) are imperative. And the good news is that these skills can be learned and developed.

 

Witnessing teaming in action through my clients and daughter and reading Edmondson’s descriptions of successful teams, I believe the following are key EQ skills that can make all the difference:

 

• Flexibility: Not surprising, your ability to adapt your emotions, thoughts and behaviors to unfamiliar, unpredictable and dynamic circumstances or ideas is critical to survival in this type of team environment. Change is here to stay and being adaptable and flexible in team circumstances has never been more important.

 

• Problem Solving: How do you find solutions to problems in situations where emotions are involved? Deadlines are a way of life and especially in teaming circumstances, complete information is just not available.

 

• Interpersonal Relationships: Developing and maintaining great relationships is a skill set that is easier when teams are based on longstanding, mutual experiences and geographic proximity. But in teaming, relationships must build quickly without the benefit of trust building as a foundation.  

 

• Empathy: Differences in cultural norms, values and perspectives are natural in a teaming situation. Empathy built on listening to others opinions and ideas is critical to successful decision making and project completion.

 

• Assertiveness: In a teaming situation, team members must speak up and offer their perspective and ideas. They must be able to communicate honestly and directly, raise issues and acknowledge when errors are made.

 

• Stress Management: This form of team is not for the faint of heart. Being able to cope with stressful, rapidly changing circumstances, different personalities and functional skill sets  is a requirement of leaders at all levels. And I would argue, even more so in a teaming situation.

 

 

As Edmondson says in her article, “teaming” is here to stay. This form of flexible team is challenging for sure, yet as Edmondson describes in her article, there are great rewards for both the individual and the organization.

 

Are you ready for this brave new world?

 

To your success,

 

Mary

What's Your Reputation?

 

“Your chances of success in any undertaking

can always be measured by your belief in yourself.”

~Robert Collier

 

You work hard to build an excellent reputation in your firm, among your client base and in your community.  Because you need a good external reputation to build trust with others, garner respect and enhance your influence.

But what about your internal reputation? By that I mean the reputation you have with yourself, your overall self-esteem.

I’ve had some high-achieving clients who, despite their success and evidence to the contrary, don’t think much of themselves. They are highly self-critical and demand perfection in everything they do.  In their minds, they challenge their competence and their ability to learn new skills. They say things to themselves that they would never say to others. They set such high expectations for themselves, how could they possibly measure up? 

So, why do they do it? They mistakenly believe that this overly harsh, self-critical approach generates better results.

Quite the contrary. Their lack of self-esteem is actually a barrier to outstanding leadership and performance.  Here's why.

Self-acceptance is one of the six pillars of self-esteem (i.e. our reputation with ourselves) that author Nathaniel Branden identifies in his book Self Esteem at Work: How Confident People Make Powerful Companies.

According to Branden’s research, if you accept yourself as you are at work:

• You are more accepting of others.
• You are calmer.
• Not everything is such a big deal.
• You are more open to hearing other points of view.
• You are less defensive.
• You handle critical feedback well.

 

Can you see how the above behaviors can enhance your leadership effectiveness and performance? If you believe in you, others will believe in you, too.

 

So ask yourself: What can I do today to begin building my reputation with myself? How can I take an honest look at my strengths and weaknesses and accept myself just the way I am? Because in the end, that self - acceptance is the foundation for successful change.

To your success,

Mary

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Does It Take to “Flourish”?

 

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”

~Aristotle

I never thought I’d see this smiley face on the cover of my Harvard Business Review. Happiness discussed in a hard core business journal? And yet, there it was. That big happy grin was staring up at me as the most recent issue landed on my desk.

 

But in actuality, the influence and impact of positive psychology in the business community has grown leaps and bounds in the last several years. Just last year, Martin Seligman, who’s widely touted as the father of positive psychology, published the book, Flourish, a resource that highlights the latest research in the field.

 

And from Seligman’s perspective, the field of positive psychology has grown way beyond just the concept of “authentic happiness” to include what he terms as our overall “well being.” In Flourish, Seligman cites five key elements from the research that contribute to our well being:

 

1. Positive emotion- happiness and life satisfaction
2. Engagement-think “flow” or when you’re fully engrossed in a task
3. Relationships that are positive
4. Meaning- belonging to and serving something that you believe is bigger than yourself
5. Accomplishment pursued for its own sake

 

Think PERMA for short.

 

No one element defines “well being” but each contributes to it. Well being is a combination of feeling good as well as having meaning, good relationships and accomplishments. So maximizing all five of these elements leads to a flourishing life. Way better than just “happy.”

 

I’m able to apply Seligman’s concept of well being with my clients though their EQi 2.0 emotional intelligence self assessment. The assessment provides the client with a “well being indicator.”  It’s a great coaching tool and starting point in helping them learn more about themselves and what areas they can focus on to increase their well being, and ultimately, flourish.

 

What about you? Are you flourishing? What are the areas in your life and work that could use a tweak or a fresh look?

 

To your success,

Mary

Another Look At How We Project Ourselves

 

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking.

It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

~Albert Einstein

 

Last fall I wrote an article on Executive Presence and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) for my monthly newsletter, spare change. I’ve received great feedback on the article as a useful tool to share with professionals who are looking to enhance how they “show up” in a leadership setting.

 

The premise of the article is that our emotional intelligence, (in essence how “smart” we are about using our emotions), directly impacts our executive presence. In other words, how we “show up” can be enhanced by developing various aspects of our EQ.

 

Recently, I ran across a great visual, articulated by Coach Michael Neill, which paints a vivid picture of what I’m talking about.

 

Imagine that what you display to others, your “executive presence,” is like a movie, all happening on a movie screen in front of you. In executive presence terms, the movie might portray you as confident, assertive and empathic or timid, passive and unconnected.

But what’s really occurring is not happening on the screen at all. It’s inside the movie projector that shines a light on your “video tape reel”. Your thoughts, beliefs and emotions are illuminated by the bright light of the projector and playing outside on the movie screen.

 

When looking at improving our executive presence, many look to change what’s happening on the movie screen, outside of the projector (think new clothes or other outward trappings of success). But as you know from the movies, changing what’s on the screen doesn’t work.

 

The change you seek must happen on the inside of the projector, by changing the thoughts, beliefs and emotions that run though your "projector." If you want to change how you show up, the change must happen on the inside first.

 

What do you think? Does this visual resonate with you? What is the image you project? What are the thoughts, beliefs and emotions running through your “projector” that impact how you are perceived by others?

 

To your success,

 

Mary

 

 

The Lizard and the Six Second Rule

 

“Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.”

~Seneca

 

Last month I witnessed a full blown, double sided “amygdala hijack.” That’s EQ speak for a very unfortunate conversation between two people who both wished they had behaved differently. In the end, each wished they could have a “do-over.”

 

The argument started very innocently when one person, we’ll call him “Bob” asked another person, we’ll call her “Jane,” about a controversial decision that was made by their organization’s leadership team. Jane was on that team.

 

The other piece you should know is that the conversation occurred in a social situation where other employees, not a part of either side of the situation, could witness the exchange in real time. Uh-oh.

 

Bob began, expressing his general unhappiness with the decision and asking Jane to justify it.  Jane responded immediately, defensive of her role. The topic was a trigger to both Bob and Jane but for different reasons.

 

The conversation escalated from there.

 

The two went at it for over five very long minutes each believing that they were “winning” the argument. When the dust settled and the two parted, in fact, neither was a winner. Bob came off as short sighted and blustery and Jane’s behavior was far from inspiring. And in the end, each lost the respect of those in the “audience.”

 

The argument had an impact afterward as well. Separate discussions were spawned, tempers flared, people took sides and the overall mood of the group took a dive. Not a good scene.

 

It’s easy to see now that the entire situation could have been avoided. Bob could have asked Jane in a private setting for more information regarding the decision. Jane could have not been defensive but listened to Bob and his concerns.

 

Yes, it’s so easy to see that now. But in the moment, when our emotions are involved, our brains have another idea.

 

Our Brains

The amygdala (AKA the lizard brain) is the emotional center in the brain that when overloaded with emotion, can trigger an irrational, emotive response.  Thus, the “amygdala hijack.”

 

When we feel any emotion, especially fear or anger, the amygdala kicks in and sends an alarm to every part of the brain. Fight or flight hormones are secreted, motion centers are put on alert, and the cardiovascular system, muscles, and gut are tensed. Heart rate and blood pressure escalate and breath slows while the face muscles are locked into a frozen posture animated by the emotion that triggered the response. Yikes!

 

The problem is that the amygdala takes over BEFORE the rational side of our brain kicks in. A full SIX SECONDS before. And when you’re in high alert and emotionally charged, SIX SECONDS can be an eternity.

 

What can I do to prevent Mt. Vesuvius from erupting?

 

BE AWARE of what is happening in your emotional circuitry. What are your trigger topics? What are the states (hungry? tired?) when you are most susceptible to eruption? What situations or individuals have historically caused you to feel uncomfortable or stressed?

 

WAIT SIX SECONDS. There’s a reason your parents counted to 10 when they were upset with you. We need to breathe, take a step back and wait long enough for the rational part of our brain to kick in. The delay gives us an opportunity to wait until the chemical reaction occurring in our brain has time to subside.

 

UNDERSTAND THAT ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. Remember that your response is solely up to you. Being provoked is never an excuse and in the end you end up embarrassing yourself and being the loser.

 

Once you calm down, you have several options:

1. Walk away, acknowledging that there is a time and a place for discussion.
2. Get alone and process what happened.
3. Stay calm and engage in productive discussion of a solution
4. Say statements like “let me think about this,” “give me a minute,” “that’s an interesting perspective” or “I can see why you’re upset”
5. Hear out the accusation and calmly explain your perspective

 

Researchers have found that venting your anger is actually one of the worst ways to cool down. Venting actually prolongs the mood rather than end it.

 

Bob and Jane patched things up with apologies and ultimately a productive dialogue. But there were definite costs to the confrontation: loss of respect, embarrassment, regret, additional stress to name just a few.

 

We’ve all been in situations when our amygdala (or the lizard) takes over. But awareness, patience and a belief that anger is not the solution will take you a lot further.

 

What are some tools you use to practice controlling your impulse to react or show restraint? How do you control your "lizard brain"?

To your success,

 

Mary

The Fallacy of the Pacesetter Leader

 

“If you want to lead people somewhere new, you need to meet them where they are.”

~Kerry Bunker

 

 

 

My client, we’ll call her “Sarah,” is an executive with outstanding technical expertise and a track record for “getting stuff done.” She gets stuff done alright, because she does most everything herself.

 

And if she doesn’t do it herself, she demands the highest performance standards of others with little guidance to the team or focus on her team members’ development. “They should just know what to do.”

 

Sarah believes she is a high impact leader. What she hasn’t realized until now is that the impact that she’s created is not at all positive.

 

Much of Sarah’s leadership behavior reminds me of the Pacesetter leadership style identified in one of my all time favorite books, Primal Leadership. The book, written by Goleman, Boyatzis and McKee is a bestseller on learning to lead with emotional intelligence.

 

Individuals with a Pacesetter style of leadership expect excellence and exemplify it.  Don’t get me wrong, the Pacesetter style can work well in certain situations; say during the entrepreneurial phase of a company or when team members need very little direction.

 

But even then, a Pacesetter leader’s relentless demands and unclear guidelines can have a very detrimental effect on the culture and climate of the team and ultimately on results.

 

Sarah’s had trouble with her team’s performance recently and it’s not dissimilar to the results indicated by the research reported in the book. Here’s some of the 360 feedback that I heard:

 

⇓ Flexibility -- “She does all the thinking.”

 ⇓ Feedback – “All I get is criticism.”

⇓ Responsibility – “She will do it if I don’t.”

⇓ Commitment – “I’m not cared about.”

 

The result is dissonance.

 

The more pressure Sarah puts on people for results, the more anxiety that she provokes. The more Sarah does herself, the less confidence her team has in their own capabilities. Pacesetters may get short term compliance, but they don’t get long term sustained performance.

 

Some Solutions for Sarah

 

• Build the EQ skill of empathy. Tap into what others may be experiencing as the result of her high intensity style.
• Improve her own self-awareness, understanding her own drive and feelings and the impact she is creating for herself as well.
• Enhance her ability to effectively communicate with her team by providing constructive performance feedback and connection to new learning possibilities.
• Build confidence in the capability of her team. Teach and develop them to fill the gaps. Sarah needs to “meet them where they are.”

 

 

What are your experiences with Pacesetter leaders? What is the impact of this leadership style on your motivation? What is the climate that this type of leadership style creates? I’d love to hear your experiences.

 

To your success,

 

Mary

 

 

When Peer Pressure is a Good Thing

 

"Pressure makes diamonds."

~General George S. Patton

 

The rain was coming down sideways, in virtual sheets. My husband and I looked at each other and I asked: “Are we really going to ride our bikes in this?” “Oh I doubt it,” he assured me.  It was Day 1, Hour 1 of our 5 day biking tour through the hills of the Loire Valley in France.

 

We were novice bikers but our friends and fellow riders assured us that we would be “just fine.” Yes, we had done some training but not on hills (we live in farm country) and NEVER in the rain. No, it just never occurred to us that it could be, or would be, raining cats and dogs!

 

Our tour leader-guides, Anna and Stephanie, never stopped their cheery disposition and reminded us that the French countryside was beautiful, there would be wine and/or croissants along the way and “we’d be so proud of ourselves” when we completed the tough ride. They must have taken a play out of the EQ play book that says the leader’s emotions are contagious. They refused to show any hesitation or doubt that our journey in the rain would be worth it.

 

As we watched in disbelief, each of our fellow riders mounted their bikes. Darn.

 

But Marty and I had our pride. We refused to be the only two people to ride in the van to our next stop. No, we would go. We climbed on our bikes and started to ride. With the rain coming down, we road all of our 20 miles, up and down hills and valleys, through small country towns and roads lined with vineyards. All in the non-stop driving rain.

 

And I hate to admit it, it was a memorable day. We were proud of ourselves for completing the ride. We enjoyed the scenery and spent the day riding with some new friends. In this case, peer pressure worked.  Pushing us to achieve more than we ever imagined. We rode for two more days in the rain and peer pressure again encouraged us to complete a ride of 50 miles on Day 4.

 

I know I’m describing a circumstance that pales in significance to many of the challenges that we face. Succumbing to peer-pressure is not cool. But think back on a time when your peers encouraged you to do or accomplish something outside of your comfort zone. To solve a problem, to stay the course when you wanted to give up. Sometimes, a little peer pressure can make all the difference.

To your success,

 

Mary

Tough Guys And Soft Skills ~ Football Greats Connect the Dots on Success

 

“Emotions are like waves. You can’t choose them,

but you can choose which ones you ride.”

 ~ Walter Payton

 

This is a guest post by Elizabeth Conlisk, V.P. Communications and University Relations of Big Ten Network (and my sister).

 

It’s Chicago Ideas Week, and all over the city, famous athletes, entertainers, politicians and business people are on panels about such topics as “Heroes,” and how we can become them; “The Future of News,” and “Social Entrepreneurship.”

 

The panel I attended yesterday was under the heading of “Sports,” and its description suggested we could “gain unique insight from current and former athletes, sports journalists and industry experts on the value of good coaching, win or lose.”

 

I never expected to hear how keeping your head and heart connected was an important, yes even critical, element to succeed.

 

Held at Walter Payton Prep in Chicago, the panel was an all-star cast: Israel Idonije, a Chicago Bears defensive end who’d just played on Monday Night Football, Hunter Hillenmeyer, who recently retired from the team; and Jarrett Payton, son of the great Walter, also a former NFLer, being led by Ronnie Lott, who was inducted into the football Hall of Fame in 2000.

 

These were “manly men,” all. Big guys. Tough guys who hit and got hit hard for a living.

 

And yet their message had little to do with physical toughness, and competing on the field. I was struck by how these men, some still playing, talked about how important it is to:

 

• Have the right mental vision for success.
• To connect your head with your heart.
• Believe passionately you can succeed.
• To value every one of your teammates, no matter if they’re a star, a starter or the   last person on the depth chart.
• Define success not just by what you do on the field but by the strength of your relationships with others.
• And have the same laser vision to handle both success AND adversity.

 

Sounds like some great lessons on success AND leadership.

 

 

Thanks, Elizabeth. This is a great reminder that connecting head and heart, working and leading with emotional intelligence, transends across all aspects of our lives and remains a fundamental cornerstone of our success. 

 

To Your Success,

 

Mary

 

When Widening the Gap is a Good Thing

 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

 In our response lies our growth and our freedom”

~ Victor Frankl

 

In the world of personal and professional development, I work with clients to reduce the gap between their current “soft” skills and the new skills required for them to be the leader they want to be.  Our focus on narrowing the gap is a good thing.

But when it comes to managing stress and our often impulsive responses to stress, widening the gap is always our desired focus. The gap I’m referring to is the time between the occurrence of a trigger or stressful event and our response. It’s the difference between saying what your emotions can drive you to say in the moment and the thoughtful response that comes from being mindful of what you’re feeling and why. It’s our brain that literally get’s “hijacked” in such stressful situations.

 

Daniel Goleman, author of numerous books on emotional and social intelligence, describes the brain’s response in this way:

“When we’re stressed, the part of the brain that takes over, the part that reacts the most, is the circuitry that was originally designed to manage threats—especially circuits that center on the amygdala, which is in the emotional centers of the brain.

The amygdala is the trigger point for the fight, flight, or freeze response. When these circuits perceive a threat, they flood the body with stress hormones that do several things to prepare us for an emergency. Blood shunts away from the organs to the limbs; that’s the fight or flee.

But the response is also cognitive—and, in modern life this is what matters most, it makes some shifts in how the mind functions. Attention tends to fixate on the thing that is bothering us, that’s stressing us, that we’re worried about, that’s upsetting, frustrating, or angering us. That means that we don’t have as much attentional capacity left for whatever it is we’re supposed to be doing or want to be doing.

In addition, our memory reshuffles its hierarchy so that what’s most relevant to the perceived threat is what comes to mind most easily—and what’s deemed irrelevant is harder to bring to mind. That, again, makes it more difficult to get things done than we might want. Plus, we tend to fall back on over-learned responses, which are responses learned early in life—which can lead us to do or say things that we regret later. It is important to understand that the impulses that come to us when we’re under stress—particularly if we get hijacked by it—are likely to lead us astray.

 

That’s why it’s so important to widen the gap between an impulse and our action.

The tool I use with my clients to remind them of this habit is referred to as PAR: Pause, Assess and only then, Respond. My clients learn to become mindful, in the moment, BEFORE responding and reflect on what they’re feeling and why. This practice can lead to a more thoughtful, measured response that is more likely to create a better or more productive outcome.

Try PAR in your daily practice and let me know what you think.

To your success,

Mary

 

 

 

Assess. Predict. Perform.

 

I’m really excited. I just got back from New York City. I attended a launch meeting for the next generation of the emotional intelligence assessment that I use in my executive coaching and consulting practice. The new and improved EQi 2.0 has the same scientific reliability and validity as its predecessor, but has several significant updates that make the instrument an even better predictor of human performance.

Now you know why I’m excited.

Those who know me and the background of my coaching and consulting work with leaders, know that I’m passionate about helping my clients develop their EQ, recruit successful candidates and retain current high performers. I utilize EQ for good reason. Emotional intelligence has proven to be a key indicator of human performance and development potential.

For those who may not be familiar with emotional intelligence, it’s a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we:

• perceive and express ourselves;
• develop and maintain social relationships;
• cope with challenges, and;
• use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way

These skills, like self regard, self awareness, empathy and assertiveness to name a few, are the cornerstone of effective leadership practices. And there’s lots of data supporting this assertion.

When they embarked on enhancements to the assessment, MHS, the developer of the EQi 2.0, obtained feedback from over 700 coaches, consultants, academics and business professionals for the purpose of making an already great assessment, an outstanding assessment. And based on what I learned at the meeting, I’m confident my clients will reap the benefits of these enhancements.

So what’s holding you back? Why not take advantage of this outstanding tool to help you take your performance or the performance of your organization to the next level? I love to quote the words of former GE CEO, Jack Welch:

“No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts,

but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader.

You just can’t ignore it.”

 

To your success,

Mary