TheLeadershipNotebook

New Year's "Re-solutions"

 

“For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.”
~T.S. Eliot 

 

It’s December 29th and everywhere you turn, people are talking about their New Year’s resolutions. It seems that each year,  we often return to generating solutions to those nagging changes that have eluded us in the past. “I’d love to be a specimen of physical fitness.” “I want to be a better wife/husband/team member/listener.” Each change desired is as unique as each person making the resolve.

This year, one possibility is to look at the desired change from a new and different perspective. Imagine that your desired vision and your current reality are like a stretched rubber band across two hands. The top hand represents your vision for the results of the change effort. The bottom hand represents your current state or what exists today. The wider the gap between your vision and the current reality, the greater the tension in your life. And for many, there is a lot of tension in that stretched rubber band!

There are two ways of relieving the tension once and for all.  You can release the vision and stay stuck in the past, resist the required change and refuse to let go of your current unpoductive thoughts, feelings or behaviors. OR you can move that hand with the current reality, embrace your vision and tap into your passion, energy and optimism to do the work that moves you closer to your goal.

As a coach and a catalyst for my client’s change, my hope for you is that this is the last year you have to “re-solve” your current challenge. I encourage you to embrace your desired change. Pick one or two resolutions and finally do the work to put it behind you.

Then you can happily move to next year’s New Year’s challenge and a “New-solution” leaving your “Re-solution” far behind. I wish you much happiness, peace and joy in 2011!

To your success,

Mary

Let There Be Peace on Earth….

 

….and let it begin with me.

 

I was in the jam-packed parking lot of the Mall yesterday. Bumper to bumper cars and not a free parking spot in sight. And then, there it was…a spot opened up right before my eyes. But it turns out it opened up right in front of someone else’s eyes as well. The other car swiftly cut me off and pulled right in front of me, nailing the spot and sending me off to search again. Ugh! That guy was so rude….

And then I stopped and listened to my car radio. The classic Christmas song, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” played in the background. The timing couldn’t have been better. A quick reminder of the “reason for the season.” I smiled and moved on to search for the next illusive parking spot.

Later, as I thought about the lyrics of song, specifically the “let it begin with me” part, I was also reminded of one of life’s core truths: We can only change ourselves. We can’t change another person. And so for “peace” in my world, it MUST begin with me.

Hard as we want to try, when someone’s actions make us sad or angry or anxious, it is only our reaction and our behavior in response to their actions that we can control. The concept is difficult to accept but empowering when you come to embrace its truth.

So this Holiday Season, as I’m surrounded by my family and friends, some who make me happy and some who may at times make me crazy, I will focus on remembering that if I want to change anything about the relationship, I must “let it begin with me.”

I wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous Holiday Season!

To your success,

Mary

 

The Wisdom of Linus

 

“Every day is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.”

~Unknown

 

Last weekend I ran across an old “Peanuts” cartoon with Lucy and Linus, her baby brother.

Lucy: ’I’ll tell you something I’ve never told anyone before.’

She points to a hill in the distance and says, ’Someday, I’m going over that hill and find happiness and fulfilment. For me all the answers to life lie beyond those clouds and over the grassy slopes of those hills.’

Linus, removing the thumb from his mouth, points toward the hill,:’Perhaps there’s another little kid on the other side of the hill who is looking this way and thinks that all the answers lie on this side of the hill.

Lucy thinks that one over for a long moment, then turns toward the hill and screams, ’FORGET IT KID!’

Ahh….how many times have you said to yourself: “I’ll find happiness and fulfillment and all the answers to life when I get to the hill in the distance.’ And the “hill” could be anything: fill in the blank.  Is it more money, a promotion? A new house or car? Or maybe finding that perfect soul mate. We get caught up in thinking that just over that hill, we’ll find happiness.

Linus was pretty wise for a little kid. He reminds us that our best chance for long-term happiness and fulfillment is in staying RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW, in this place.

How about giving yourself the best gift this holiday season: Living in the present.  

                                                                        

To your success,

Mary

Way to Go!

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.”

~Tom Peters

 

It’s starting. My Runner’s World magazine came yesterday. And on the cover, in big bold print, were the words, New Year, New You! Here we go again. I’m sure similar sentiments will grace the December covers of all sorts of magazines. It’s total transformation time.

It’s easy to get swept up in the “extreme makeover” mentality. In fact, last December I wrote a blog post entitled One Small Change urging a movement away from a complete re-do toward a simple reflection on the “one small change” that would have the greatest impact on your life or work.

It’s one year later and I’m still firmly committed to this continuous improvement and possibility mindset. And to that end, I’d also like to add an additional perspective to your year-end reflection. How about we celebrate what went well in 2010?

This week, I had a few “free” days appear on my calendar. I was scheduled to facilitate a two day client leadership team offsite. Unfortunately, the meeting had to be canceled at the last minute and my schedule freed up. What would I do with that time? What should I do with that time?

Well, first I took the opportunity to catch up on various proposals, projects and community work that needed my attention. But then I practiced what I preach. I took some time for reflection. To think about all the positives that happened in my world over the past 12 months, both personally and professionally.

I asked myself the following questions:

What was I most proud of accomplishing during this year?

How did I move my business forward in my mission to provide impactful, quality coaching and consulting services to my clients? To make a positive difference in their lives and their organizations?

What new, positive habits and behaviors have I developed during the year?

What great results have I experienced when I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone?

What new relationships have I built over the last year and what existing relationships have deepened?

Turns out that 2010 was a HUGE year for me on many different fronts and I’m proud of myself for a job well done! This simple exercise had a powerful impact. It reminded me that although I will certainly set new goals for 2011, the accomplishments of the last year are worthy of celebration.  

So, your coach encourages you to take the time to reflect on your accomplishments over this past year. I’m sure you’ll have lots to be proud of. Go ahead and celebrate!

To your success,

Mary

 

 

 

A Bend in The Road.....

 

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn."

 ~ Unknown

 

This week, one of my clients had a very tough week at work. I spoke to her today and was amazed by her attitude and commitment to persevere. Perseverance is a powerful and valuable skill to possess. And having the energy and focus to keep going in the face of resistance and setbacks is a critical leadership competency.

Sometimes getting back on your feet and making the turn can make all the difference.

 To your success,

Mary