“We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.”
—Management expert Peter Drucker
In our everyday experience as leaders of firms, departments or project teams, we are witness to a wide variety of both positive and negative leadership attributes. Of course, we readily identify and fully accept the positive attributes in ourselves. The negative behaviors are another story. They are so easily identified in our bosses and colleagues, but never in ourselves.
Marshall Goldsmith, executive coach, in his book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, identified 21 bad habits after years of working with top executives in Fortune 500 companies. And in my role as Partner in a regional CPA firm and now an Executive Coach and organizational change consultant, I too have witnessed these negative behaviors. Behaviors that completely undermine the effectiveness of the leader and cause followers and team members to disregard (or ignore) their boss, or worse, cause them to run in the opposite direction. Forget about having any influence.
But here’s the good news. These bad habits can be broken. And as you look at the list, think about the many daily opportunities you have to correct these behaviors. Simple changes. Behaviors you can stop doing today. And if you don’t see these behaviors in yourself…..forward this on to a friend, colleague or even your boss. You never know, they may actually see themselves…
1. Winning too much. The need to win at all costs and in all situations—when it matters and even when it doesn’t, when it’s totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value. The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment. The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments. The needless sarcasm and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with “no,” “but” or “however.” The overuse of these negative qualifiers, which secretly convey to everyone, “I’m right. You’re wrong.”
6. Telling the world how smart we are. The need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are.
7. Speaking when angry. Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity (“Let me explain why that won’t work.”). The need to share our negative thoughts, even when we haven’t been asked to do so.
9. Withholding information. The refusal to share information so we can maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition. The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit we do not deserve. The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses. The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people will excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past. The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites. Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret. The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening. The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for our colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude. The most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger. The misguided need to attack the innocent who, usually, are only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck. The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be “me.” Exalting our faults as virtues, simply because they embody who we are.
21. Refusing to accept any responsibility for needing to change. “That’s just the way I am. Take it or leave it.”
Now get to it. Pick one or two of these bad habits and raise your awareness of your own behavior. Fortunately, it’s easier to STOP doing something than to undergo a major personality transformation.
To your success,
Mary
